FEMI TAIWO @ 30: Top 30 Forces That Shaped My Life in 30 Years (i)

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Michael Oluwafemi Taiwo, Ph.D

On Saturday, July 27, 2013, I will be 30 years. It is a good time for me to pause, look back and acknowledge the help I have received along the way. I have parsed the dominant influences on my actions and behaviors into three: people, books and places. So over the next three days starting today, I will release the top ten people, top ten books and top ten places that factor into my worldview.

 

Introduction to the Top Ten People that have influenced me

I have been fortunate to meet many wonderful personalities and I am blessed with a great family. It is a difficult undertaking to pick the top ten people when there are literally hundreds to choose from. I really do count myself lucky that it was a hard exercise to select ten out of all the wonderful individuals I have met. I present to you…

My Mum

This is neither the time nor place for me to do justice to the memory of my mother. The opportunity for that will come in the future. But I need to mention her here and mention her first so that it can be unmistakably clear that she is the dominant influence on the way I view reality. I feel very grateful to have been taught by the wisest woman I’ve known for the first 18 years of my life. O ri sa bi iya ko si; iya n’iya mi. I was not a saint growing up but I never disappointed my mum, not once. She was proud of me then; she would be prouder now. I reflect a lot on what she would have wanted anytime I am at a crossroad of decision. Her death closed the gap of any lessons her life didn’t teach me. I love you, Mum. I am 30 now!

Sister Tolu

“Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” God blessed my sister with wisdom, understanding and knowledge well beyond her years. She picked up from where my mum left off and safely steered the ship of her four other siblings. We had good foundations but they would have been nothing without a good finisher. She finished us well and she is not even the eldest sibling! For this, I call her my sister-mum. She taught me how to pray. Today, several years after, when I find myself stuttering at the throne of grace, I revert to the simple words she taught me as a fearful teenager: “Father, I thank You that it is well with my soul.”

Mr. Yusuf

He was an unassuming Math teacher that taught me for five years (Grades 7 – 12). He was everything a great teacher should be: he had mastery of the material; he could break it down so that it stuck and he made his students love the subject. Our relationship evolved over the years to that of mutual respect and friendship but he will always remain the guy who revealed to me the mystery of Mathematics.

[Epilogue] Sadly, yesterday, he passed away after a protracted battle with illness. You don’t get used to this kind of news. Men of his caliber should live the longest. If truly a teacher’s reward is in heaven, I have no doubt he is enjoying the fruit of his labors now.

Suraj Oyewale

My favorite story of Jarus, his moniker, which justifies his inclusion on my influencers, was his response to a perceived snub by the authorities in high school. He was widely expected to be selected as one of the school prefects but he wasn’t. The next day, he returned to school with a 10-page rebuttal and pasted it on the school board for all to read. That was shocking to me. It was like Luther nailing his 95 theses to the door. Many months later, taking a cue from him, I led a protest of my own to demand for exam fee refunds for students. Jarus defended the causes he believed in and so influenced me to do the same.

Uncle T

He is the first godly man I ever met. I grew up in an environment lacking positive male role models. I didn’t even believe they existed. But my first encounter with him changed all that. As my brother-in-law, I have known him for over 14 years now and his life continues to challenge me. He personifies grace and humility—always relaxed, always fun to be with. I have learnt more on how to be a man by watching him than I have by reading books or listening to sermons. He is my Oga at the top. Chairman no be for mouth!

Ugochukwu Onyeonoro

At a time when I was recently orphaned, with failing health and failing grades, Ugo stepped in to ensure my life didn’t descend into a vortex of depression and despair. He sacrificed going to classes and stayed by my side, nursed me back to health, read the Bible over me daily and reminded me my best years lay ahead. Ugo was my roommate for over six years in college. He is the finest gentleman I know. Our time together wasn’t all gloomy. We shared victories together. Most notably, he was instrumental in my winning the student presidential elections in my department and I was the mastermind of his winning presidential campaign as well. He was an Igbo student in a Yoruba dominated department and he won. I can’t forget that. Nigeria has hope. Even though I am currently living 6,000 miles away from him and in a demanding career, I told him on his birthday that if he ever needs me, he should just pick up the phone and I will be on the next flight home. He means that much to me.

Abimbola Michael-Taiwo

A question people often ask men is “Where did you meet your wife?” The answer to that scarcely reveals. A better question, I think, is to ask, “Why did you marry your wife?” I can tell you I married mine because she is godly, lovable, personable and teachable. That is all true but the most important reason at the end of the day is because she is the only person I know that “gets” me. There are times I don’t even get me but she always seems to, articulating things I want to say but don’t for lack of words.  There are a few key things I got right so far in my life—marrying my best friend is definitely one of them. “Many daughters have done well, Abimbola, but you excel them all.” Titilayomi and I are lucky to have you!

 

Ife Classmates

I went to Ife expecting to meet world class facilities, first-class professors and top-of-the-line students. I was sorely disappointed with the facilities and the professors but the quality of students I met there surpassed my expectations. Ife was a confluence of brilliant minds from across Nigeria and neighboring countries, a potpourri of eclectic ideas and idealism characteristic of youthful zest. Add to this mix a smorgasbord of religious fanaticism and you can get an explosive atmosphere where only the strongest survive. One-hundred and twenty of us started the Chemical Engineering journey—only 40 made it to the finish line. This is about the 40. My classmates inspired, challenged and tested me at almost every turn. My college education consisted in large part from what my classmates taught me both within the class and outside of it. My highlight was when I had to make the case that I was qualified to lead them; it was a fierce battle but I won.

Unknown Stranger

I met this woman in one of the public buses in Lagos in 2007. She had her son on her lap. The bus was so packed and discomfiting that I offered to pay for her son so they both could sit on a seat. As the bus lumbered down the pot-holed road, the lady brought out a pen and paper and started teaching her son elementary school science. I was touched. This woman, poor and weary, still found the time to invest in the next generation. She did not allow the realities of the day to drown out the hope of tomorrow. Her is-ness (what is) did not get in the way of her ought-ness (what ought to be). Each time I am tempted to lose hope in the future of my country, I go back to that scene in the bus and remember that right now as we speak, there are those investing in the next generation. That woman, that unknown stranger, merits a place on the major forces that are shaping me.

The Grindstaffs

Their entry into my story was both late and grand. Late because I was already a man when I met them but grand because they define in large part my American experience. In many ways, they embody what is still right with America: the generosity of spirit, the openness of mind and the strength of character. Their home has been my de facto second home as it has for many of my friends. They were in Lagos for my wedding and we took a tour of South West Nigeria together; those are memories I cherish.  I am positive they will still feature in my unfolding story and I am grateful for how well they have played their part.

 

See also Top 10 Places That Shaped My Life in 30 Years

6 comments

  1. Tosin Abolurin 27 July, 2013 at 15:47 Reply

    Femo. Wonderful piece you put up. Happy Birthday to you brother. Dis is Tosin Old classmate Adeola Model School, Offa. I wish increase and fruitfulness on all sides of life. Takia man

  2. arawu samuel 4 November, 2014 at 00:20 Reply

    Mehn I’m so inspired I’m an albino that wishes to make first class and get a phd too straight.I’d appreciate it Dr femi if I get your email Dr femi so we can talk.thanks

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